Paul and Rebecca Mosley in Ethiopia: Thanksgiving and time to celebrate Dave Sack's 80th

At Dave Sack's 80th birthday party

I have not spent a lot of time in Addis Ababa in the past two months. In October, we traveled to South Sudan and Djibouti. In November I had a work trip to Southern Ethiopia, had one week back home, and then got on a plane again. This time, I was heading back to the US. My dad turned 80 this year, and I really wanted to be there to help him celebrate. Also, it seemed like the right time to check in on Oren and see what to do to help him with his transition into college life. And along the way, I had a chance to catch up with several dear friends.

My flight plan included a 7-hour layover in Frankfurt so I decided to get out of the airport and explore a bit. My flight arrived very early, so I took a little time to figure out the train system and let the freezing temperatures warm up a little.

Wandering in Frankfurt

By dawn, I had made my way to the center of the city, still deserted except for a few folks who seemed to live on the street. Once upon a time, I had spoken German reasonably well. I was a bit disconcerted that I couldn’t put a sentence together very well – all that wanted to come out was Amharic! This became evident when a young man approached me and asked in German how to find the main train station? I didn’t know, nor could I tell him that! Then he asked me in Russian, and then in French – all of which I could understand, but couldn’t respond to. Finally, we landed in English and he understood that language wasn’t the problem as much as my general ignorance of Frankfurt. Hopefully, he found his way.

I enjoyed wandering through the quiet foggy streets and eventually found the river with a lovely promenade on either side. I had no real goal, except to do a lot of walking and possibly pick up some German treats to share with the Baltimore family. On both counts I succeeded, finding a wonderful produce market, and then several cheese shops and sausage shops. I stumbled across a Catholic cathedral that was drawing the first round of morning tourists towing carry-on suitcases. Inside I learned that it was the only original building left standing in that block after WWII after the massive bombing of the Altstat. An eerie photograph in the church foyer showed an aerial view of blocks of rubble with the standing church in the center. All the other apparently old buildings I walked beside were reconstructed.

Reunion week with Oren

Eventually, I found a recommended breakfast spot – inside they were full, but they had outdoor tables as well. It was probably about 4 degrees Celsius by that time, and they had an overhead heater and lap blankets, so I managed fairly well. And then I made my way back to the airport in time for my connection to Washington DC.

My parents kindly met me at the airport and drove me back to our family home. Oren had already arrived on the train that afternoon and had enjoyed dinner and games with his other grandparents before coming out to Fallston. It wasn’t long before I crashed. In the morning, Oren and I went to church at North Baltimore Mennonite – a real treat to participate in the hymns in 4-part harmony and see so many old friends. It was a potluck day and so we had even more time to catch up with people. In the afternoon, my dad and I joined Bunny & Henry Mosley at a concert of the Deer Creek Chorale, the choral society my parents have been members of for a long time. I really enjoyed hearing other people sing beautiful music, and it was an interesting choice to have a program focused on gratitude – rather than the expected Christmas selections.

Dinner with all the parents and friends

I think the choir really tries to be ecumenical and has a wide community outreach, along with making music. I even saw other good friends at the concert – all the Ballards -- and we had time to talk during intermission. We came back to my parents’ house for a soup dinner and good conversation. So much in just my first 24 hours back in the country!

On Monday morning, my mom needed help with setting up an apartment for a CAR refugee. So, I joined both my parents and my cousins Jonathan and Dan, loading and moving furniture and getting everything organized in the new place. Since my mom retired from librarian work, she has given a lot of energy towards welcoming “Home” many, many families of refugees, starting with Afghans who had to flee in 2021.

Setting up a refugee home

I was glad I could support her in this. And it turned out to be a very fun thing to do with my cousins whom I don’t normally see all that often. In this case, they were helping because they were in the process of emptying their mom’s house after Jo died this summer. It’s great to know that more vulnerable people can benefit from the things she left behind.

On both Monday and Tuesday afternoons, I took Oren to behind-the-wheel sessions of driver’s ed. He had not been able to complete that stage in 2022, and then in 2023, he had his ankle surgery and couldn’t drive at all. Now he’s trying to pick back up and get himself ready to finally take a driving test sometime in 2024. He still doesn’t have a car, so it’s not a big problem yet. But at some point, he will need to be able to get himself to a summer job, so hopefully, all this can come together. While Oren was practicing driving, I was able to get almost all of my shopping done – for Thanksgiving, my dad’s party, and then things to take back to Addis.

A game of Rummikub with the grandparents

Oren and I enjoyed a very nice brunch on Wednesday morning with Bunny and Henry at their retirement center. It was nice to have that quiet time with just them. Then we went off in quest of a winter coat for Oren. Our first stop was the Mosley family storage unit where we had stored winter things long ago; Paul thought he had a winter coat there. Henry took us and we looked through two bins, but no coat! On the other hand, there was lots of little kid winter gear that we could donate, so it was good to deal with one little bit of the clutter we left behind. Next Oren and I went to the nearby mall and found him quite a good waterproof winter parka. Along the way, my second-hand shoes literally fell apart –the sole just broke off. So I had to also get new shoes to even be able to walk out of the mall. We got ourselves a nice simple lunch at Ikea, along with some soft toys as Christmas gifts for staff children. And then we had to drive across town to see Oren’s pediatrician for a checkup. It took us a while, and I’m glad we went. Finally, we headed back to Fallston, had dinner, packed up, and then drove ourselves out to Charter Hall to settle in for the night before Thanksgiving.

I really love being at Charter Hall, with a crowd or just a quiet quartet of people. It didn’t take us too long to unpack everything so we still had time for a game of Rummikub. It was delightful to wake up early in the lodge and watch the sunrise on the heron out by the front dock, successfully fishing for minnows. There was even time for a jog down the farm lane before we needed to start our cooking. Cooking itself was fun, and Charter Hall is a fantastic place to host a big Thanksgiving dinner: two big ovens, 10 burners on the stove, lots of buffet space, and long tables already set up. We had 19 people in total, including my brothers’ family including Miriam’s boyfriend, their next-door neighbors/best friends the Thompsons, Henry & Bunny, and another church family with two little kids.

It warmed my heart to see what fun it was for Oren to hang out and play games with other young adults whom he’s known for years as his youth group cohort from church. Everyone brought delicious contributions to our Thanksgiving meal and it was incredibly tasty to me. I am developing a theory that food is more delicious at sea-level than at 8000 feet, and I think, I have some scientific justification for that, but also, everyone put in effort to make things very nicely. The weather was clear, beautiful and cold and we even had a chance to go outside and throw a frisbee around for a while, something that reminded me of the Thanksgivings of my youth, when we always included sports – touch football – before the big meal.

Relaxing in the lodge at Thanksgiving

Friday was a quiet day for my parents, Oren and I, back at the lodge. Oren had a big assignment due for his Chinese history/freshman writing class right after the holiday. So I joined him in listening to the audible version of “the Rape of Nanking: forgotten holocaust.” It was horrible and shocking to learn about that period of history, and equally shocking that I really knew almost nothing about the brutality of the Japanese occupation of China in 1937. In between, we all did a little to help with the project of stacking firewood with the other Charter Hall owners. I had a brief and serendipitous phone call with a good friend from Poughkeepsie days, Courtenay Budd. And there were other nice moments of rest and game-playing. Oh, and also lots and lots of cooking to prepare for my dad’s birthday party on Saturday! But easy to cook and listen to the book with Oren and keep him company as he learned. We also had a few good walks that day and some evening driving practice.

Sack cousins and spouses

My brother Paul and I planned an open-house party for my dad’s birthday on Saturday so we needed to have food for both lunch and supper. I’m glad we did! People dropped in and out from about noon onwards, and actually, that worked out quite well to have time to share with them in smaller groups. My cousins came out for lunch and had a few hours with us then. Other people came mid-afternoon to join us for the most amazing cake celebration, provided by my dad’s friend and colleague Jean Humphrey. It was quite cold, but incredibly beautiful, so a few of us followed my dad’s lead in enjoying our cake outside to watch the sunset. My dad insisted that he was cold but he didn’t care.

Cake and candles

Then I led us in a version of the game “Hot Seat” featuring Dave Sack – it gave us some good moments of humor and reflection before we enjoyed a home-cooked curry dinner. And a second slice of cake 😉

It was incredibly special that our old family friends Elaine and Mike Crauderauff could come down and join us, staying overnight. We’ve known Elaine since I was a child in Bangladesh, and they have often stayed with us at Charter Hall over the years. Mike has been battling cancer this year and it was such a gift that he was well enough to travel, and full of brightness for good conversation. We also enjoyed hearing about Elaine’s latest writing projects.

In the morning we had a surprise visit from 7 turkeys, all gathered around in the garden behind the kitchen. They had come out from hiding, I suppose, gambling that we had enough turkey leftovers in the fridge to leave them alone. They were right! We followed that old Charter Hall axiom that you always leave with more food than you brought… Oren and I helped my parents clean up and pack the cars before we got on the road down to Williamsburg again.

Sushi dinner

It was a rainy drive, on Thanksgiving Sunday, so I took the backroads. And the whole trip was timed perfectly to finish off listening to Oren’s history book. We checked into our hotel and Oren did a little writing on his paper and then we went off in search of a sushi dinner. I really enjoyed spending that time with my son, traveling, enjoying good food and having thoughtful conversations. In the morning, I took Oren to class and then wandered around, trying to think how to help him with a major obstacle he’s faced – how to find a work-study position on campus. It also gave me a chance to wander into the library and some academic buildings and see what has changed. I found myself at the Chemistry department office and asked if they ever hire students. “Oh yes, go see the lady next door; applications are right there with her.” And so I quickly found out that they were hiring teaching assistants (not freshmen) and also lab assistants (possibly freshmen, to set up and clean up from labs). Oren filled out an application right away, ditched me in the lobby and went to see the lady in question. He came back a half hour later, having had a good conversation with her and a full tour of the labs. There’s no guarantee that he will get an offer, but it was a great start for him. Most other jobs are advertised through the career center and he met with them Friday in his own appointment.

We had a delicious pizza lunch and then I took Oren to get his hair trimmed, and finally, we landed back at the hotel for Oren to work on his assignments. Three were due by midnight! It was warm and sunny and I wanted some fresh air, so I went out for a walk around Colonial Williamsburg. On my way back, I realized that I might not ever be able to be here with Oren in the winter when school was in session. I rushed back to the hotel, got him into the car and we took a nice walk as the sun was setting. I think that sometimes he struggles to feel positive about college when there is so much work to do. Many of his acquaintances are quite cynical, which I think is typical of his disappointed generation. The campus itself is quite chaotic and noisy with so much construction going on, and not nearly as beautiful as it should be. So I really wanted to take him for a walk to show him what is still beautiful.

Maybe it will help him understand that, when he’s overwhelmed with assignments, he can wake himself up by taking a brisk walk in a refreshing place. Most colonial doors were decorated with unique wreaths of fruit and flowers and shells and grains. The air was crisp. The moon was just about full. It was nice to walk with Oren again, something we loved to do in the evening for many years. And back in the hotel room, all the assignments got turned in on time.

Tuesday was an early morning for Oren, dropping him off for his 8 am class. That gave me just the right time for a morning jog back in Colonial Williamsburg, a work call and to check out of the hotel. We got subs for lunch and I took time to show Oren how to access a few other things online for health and job searches. And then I had to hit the road to head back to Baltimore. The drive was smooth. Along the way, I was able to catch up on the phone with another other friend from Poughkeepsie, Frances. And I got back to my parent’s house in time to make dinner and play a game of Scrabble.

At the theatre!

We spent Wednesday and Thursday with more celebratory events. On Wednesday evening, my parents took me out to the theatre at Baltimore Center Stage. It was a preview performance of Rogers and Hammerstein’s “Cinderella,” with all the original script and music. But the company is African-american and they gave a West African cultural flavor to the production, from the beat of the music, the dance and the amazing costumes. I don’t think I have every seen such spectacularly imaginative use of African fabrics, for beauty and also for a parody of the wicked stepmother and her daughters. It was deeply refreshing to enjoy more tastes of culture.

And on Thursday night we celebrated my dad’s actual 80^th birthday with a home-cooked salmon meal at my brother’s house. We were going to go to a restaurant but realized that it is much more relaxed to be at Paul’s home, where we can actually hear each other. Bunny and Henry joined us, so I was able to have a bit of a farewell with them too. We enjoyed lots of fun conversation together at that smaller dinner and I’m so grateful for time with each of these dear family members.

In between, I fit in a visit with my sister-in-law Gwendolyn (it’s great to have one-on-one time with some folks).

with Jenn Price

Our MCC Burundi friend Jennifer Price stopped in for lunch, and we were able to hear what she’s planning now that one humanitarian assignment in Ukraine has ended. And Friday, it was time to pack up and go to the airport midday.

I had one more treat in store on this trip: a longer 12-hour layover in Frankfurt gave me time to suggest a rendezvous with two friends from Burundi days. Incredibly, it all worked out, despite lots of snow and ice overnight in southern Germany. Tanja took the train from Stuttgart, and Naja flew in from Kopenhagen, meeting me in the airport train station where I had already bought us tickets to get into the center city.

Naja, Rebecca and Tanja

Like clockwork, we all converged on this very cute breakfast place, Café Heimelig. It was breakfast cooked just like Omi! With homemade spreads and breads, cheese and lox. It had been 9 years since we saw each other and we had so much to share and catch up on. After breakfast we wandered through the Christmas Markets set up in all the squares, selling mulled wine, chocolates, cookies, candles, and all kinds of German treats. The little indoor market was fascinating with so many varieties of vegetables and antipasta and other delicacies. Yet the tourist areas of the city were very crowded, so we set ourselves the challenge of finding the smaller lanes. The idea of walking along the river sounded great in theory, but the wind was icy with flurries, and we soon took refuge in a coffee shop for round two of serious catching up. Later we made our way past a historic church and then on to the AirBnB that Tanja had booked to stay the night. We ended our full day of much cold walking at a Vietnamese restaurant with big bowls of hot Pho.

Dinner together

And then Naja and Tanja accompanied me on the train to the airport and helped me get ready to board the plane. And here I am, on board, very, very tired, but also very happy about all the reconnecting I have been able to do in these past two weeks.

Bonus photos = too many!