Thursday, August 19, 2021

Homeleave reset before a new start in Addis


Our month of home leave is over: we are on the plane back to Addis Ababa. So as I sit with a 13-hour flight ahead of me, It’s good to look back and document some of the great (and not so good) moments of this time back in the USA.

We arrived on a Thursday morning in Washington and my dad picked us up in their van to drive us back in the direction of our family home north of Baltimore. We didn’t waste any time starting the process of being fully vaccinated, showing up early for our appointment at Walgreens to get Pfizer shot #1 before even landing at my parents’ house. 

Jam making with Gramma Jean

I can’t describe how grateful we were that all four of us could get that COVID vaccine; it’s a huge relief after feeling like we were constantly entering situations in our work and social life that challenged our risk tolerance. We are also glad that we can be part of the solution to this ongoing and changing pandemic, stopping the spread of new variants and keeping our parents, friends and colleagues safer.

We were tired but it was great to be back in the USA, and taste our first of many meals of grilled salmon and fresh Maryland sweet corn (favorite foods that we’ve missed in East Africa). In the first three days, our kids enjoyed doing some “normal” American chores with their grandparents. 


Oren mowed their lawn while David helped with weeding, and David also tried out the riding lawn mower for the first time. My mom involved David in making some wineberry jam. I also went to a local organic farm to pick blueberries and blackberries with my mother and to share some good conversation.  We also picked up cousin Gabriel to hang out, play games and even take a trip down to the Little Gunpowder Falls for a refreshing dip in the river. It was his first time to swim there and we all enjoyed diving down, seeing the fish in the stream, and trying to swim against the current in a few of the deeper swimming holes.

Cousins
The highlight of our first weekend back was a big multi-celebration with our family in Baltimore, to recognize 2 anniversaries (ours and Paul’s parents) and 2 birthdays (Oren and mine). Paul’s parents came over to hang out and share lunch, together with my brother’s family, and even Aunt Emma, Jonathan’s wife. It was great to see our boys having a chance to catch up with Miriam and Gabriel, their cousins, who are super fun to hang out with. They also started having sweet times with their grandparents, giving warm hugs after two years. We all marveled at enjoying conversation indoors with no masks, because everyone else is fully vaccinated. It was such a remarkable contrast from last year, when we only met outside, at socially distanced tables.

Paul, Oren, Gabe, Paul, Henry, David, Dave
On Sunday, the most restful part of our home leave began. Last year, we spent about two months staying in a borrowed vacation house by the Chesapeake Bay, free rent in exchange for time spent painting and doing repairs. We contacted Dr. Eric again, and he was willing to rent his place to us again. Then he came back to us, and invited us to do some mowing and a few small repairs and he would call it even. We honestly can’t believe his generosity in letting us stay in that great location free of charge, but we were happy to do it. It’s a big three-bedroom A-frame house with plenty of air-conditioned common space indoors and a big yard ideal for various lawn games.


One of many family picnics by the Bay

In fact, it was the perfect place to spend time with the family of Paul’s youngest brother Jonathan. They came to meet us there last year, and so it was great to recreate a really nice 10 days with them again. With all the outdoor picnic space, and a lovely view of the Bay, it’s also a great place to invite our parents to come and spend time with us and in nature. We had several different gatherings out under the trees, enjoying grilled dinners and salads, and the view of bald eagles soaring past over the water, as well as the raucous calls of the blue herons scared up from their fishing spots.


Fletcher v Oren
Jonathan drove up with his son Fletcher (his wife Emma came earlier by plane), and thankfully they managed to fit in his awesome home-made corn hole set. Corn hole was a hit last summer, and things only got more competitive this year. Various combinations of cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandfathers formed teams and played cut-throat rounds of corn hole against each other. 

Even the grandmothers who didn’t play enjoyed watching and cheering. I could probably fill this entire blog with photos of our extended family playing corn hole on many, many days over the past month.


Dr. Eric has a high-quality croquet set at his house and we also had a great time setting that up and getting a game going at least once a day. It was especially funny to play with my dad, who is truly a croquet shark and just about unbeatable. There was bocce ball all around the house. Frisbee on a few evenings. 

And Oren enjoyed his birthday gift yard game, Crossnet, foursquare meets volleyball. When Miriam and Gabriel came out to visit, they really loved playing this fast-paced physical game together.


We anticipated needing some watercraft this year, and so Paul and I invested in an inflatable 2-person kayak and an inflatable stand up paddle board. Both of them turned out to be high quality and functional. 

Together with my parent’s canoe, we had enough boat space for at least five people to be on the water at a time. Sadly, by mid-July, the shallow water of that part of the Bay can get clogged with sea grass. In fact, our whole water access needed to be cleared of land weeds, and then we had to wait for high tide to get through the water weeds and out to open water. It’s a little less nice than in Spring, but we still got out onto the water almost every day.


The thing about Home Leave is that we still needed to be able to answer emails now and then; even Jon and Emma had to do a few hours of work each day; and the internet in the boonies was just terrible! But we managed to do what was necessary to keep our office running, sometimes going out to the public library for better internet.  The kids are now old enough to fend for themselves for entertainment when they need to. So we also enjoyed quite a few board games, and David enjoyed assembling two 1000 piece puzzles in two weeks, all while singing along to Hamilton. (many of us pitched in on the effort, but David was the chief puzzler).


On one of our first days together, Paul and I took David and cousin Fletcher on a canoe trip up the Principio Creek. Fletcher was my canoe partner. He doesn’t have much opportunity to canoe except when he visits us, and he was really attentive and full of questions about the natural environment, the birds, our history in the area. It was really a pleasure to share that time with him. 


David just loves getting to the picturesque spot under the Amtrak railway bridge and throwing in a line. Even Fletcher got involved in the fishing. I simply love being out under the trees and on the water. I took at least one solo trip in the kayak and explored for various places where it wasn’t too muddy and the weeds hadn’t taken hold and we might actually get the kids in the water to swim (that is also a drawback of the weedy summertime). 

As I will relate later, we never got to take advantage of those potential swimming spots… Along the way, I tracked down a lush orange Northern Oriole (hiding too well in the underbrush for a photo), and got some great views of the eagles.

We also enjoyed a couple of excursions around the area. One afternoon we all went to a local mini-golf place and had fun goofing off and hitting the ball around. On another evening, we visited the Cecil County Fair. We were some of the few wearing masks at a red-county celebration (and I got a little bit of jeering for it), but the kids found it pretty entertaining to ride the rides on the midway and pay too much money for fried fair food. We even got to watch a few minutes of the rodeo, and marvel at the athleticism of the guys who do steer wrestling, jumping backwards off a horse to grab a young bull by the horns and wrestle it to the ground.

Fair games: he won a pink dolphin!


During the month of July, I got a little bit of a bee in my bonnet about pie. I had read an article on July 4th about how Americans are in danger of losing the art of baking our national dish: pie. Cake and cookies have really replaced pie and these days, most people don’t even know what to aim for in creating a light, flaky pie crust. I realize that I truly don’t need to eat pie. But, my mother-in-law Bunny has been called a pie expert, yet  I hadn’t ever baked pie with her. Bunny was gracious enough to get out her pastry equipment and to walk me through her family recipe for making pie pastry, showing me tricks along the way. 



Pie-making with Bunny and Jean

She also related stories of her childhood when they relied on growing a big garden during the summer so that they could preserve vegetables and have healthy food to eat in the winter. There was a ton of work to do on the farm, but fruits were plentiful and so they made two pies a day to feed their big working family and any of the guys helping out for the summer. We put fresh blackberries and peaches into some pies, and really enjoyed them with our parents.

Jonathan is remarkable jazz guitarist and his beautiful new guitar also claimed some real estate in his car on the way up to see us. We had several nights of jam sessions after our parents left for the evening, with Paul and Jon remembering all the old classic rock albums they enjoyed in their youth. Lots of the songs were good ones for harmonizing (Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Led Zeppelin, et al). Paul would just start singing some famous guitar riff off the top of his head, and Jonathan would somehow know exactly what tune that was and how to play the song perfectly to accompany our imperfect singing/mumbling of the lyrics we couldn’t quite remember.

 

Oren and Miriam chatting
Besides our parents, we had a few other day visitors. Miriam and Gabriel came out to spend some time with us (Miriam spending two nights, actually). We got in the pool for a little while and played a bunch of great board games indoors (the weather got super-hot and biting flies made it harder to be outside for a few days). Our friend Ashley came out with two of her kids, and David was delighted to have his age-mate Liam to share time with him fishing. They spent a long time on our dock and actually caught fish from between the see grass. We had planned to build a bonfire and roast hotdogs on sticks that evening, but towards late afternoon we realized that a storm was imminent. 


Campfires, s'mores, evening water

Ashley suggested protecting some of our firewood in the garage, and so we frantically ran around with the wheelbarrow and gathered up the fallen wood in the yard. Then, after a tremendous and quick storm, we had a collective effort to build a fire and still had our weenie roast with marshmallows later on.

Along the way in those two weeks, we also had some unfortunate events. One early morning, David was out by the dock trying to catch minnows for bait. He had gotten a really good bait net from Amazon, the kind that could telescope and become longer. However, as he was swiping through the water, chasing minnows, the aluminum telescoping pole snapped off. He discarded the broken handle and kept using the remaining 2 feet of pole, continuing to aggressively jerk his net through the water. I was outside to exercise and suddenly I heard him cry out in pain. He came running up the walk, blood running down his lower leg. When we got him settled, we discovered that the sharp broken end of the aluminum pole had acted just like a scalpel and sliced his leg deeply, long and clean. We put pressure on the wound, got his leg elevated and waited for the urgent care center to open. 

Games with Emma, Paul, Henry, Jonathan, Oren

The nurse thanked him for cutting his leg so cleanly, and he was pretty brave through the pain of the lidocaine injections. He ended up with seven stitches holding together this gruesome injury. And what was worse: he was absolutely forbidden from getting in the Bay water (or any water) for the remainder of our vacation. No swimming in the Bay. So very unfortunate for a nature-loving kid like him. ;-(. 

Serious mini-golf
I won’t lie: there were two separate times when David was playing near the water and, due to an unfortunate mishap, managed to submerge his leg up to the knee. Straight into the shower he went to wash the wound again. But still, after 10 days, he developed an infection in the wound and needed to be on antibiotics. Probably I can’t post any wound photos here, lest we get banned from Facebook. He’s all better now, but the kid has a scar and a story that he can tell for years to come.

Meanwhile, Paul somehow developed an infection in his leg. We have no idea how it happened, but two days later he was feverish with a very swollen calf. He drove in to town to consult with our doctor and needed to follow up with a surgeon to cut the cellulitis open and get it to drain. 


In his case, it was a bit scary with the risk of a systemic infection. But thankfully the antibiotics started to help after a few days. Still, these medical issues cost us quite a bit of time and money, and took away some of the fun – it’s hard to stay up late and enjoy company when you’re in a lot of pain. And for two weeks, Paul and David had matching bandages around their calves.

Paul was really worried about how he would get the repair work done with his wounded leg, but fortunately he was feeling better by the end of our second week. He borrowed a truck with a lift so that he could go high up on the front cedar siding and fill holes in the wood damaged by woodpeckers. The next day he stained the wood and made it look almost as good as new. I did some deep cleaning of a few public spaces. And we did our best to help the house look fresh and welcoming for whenever Dr. Eric came down again.

Jean, Henry, Fletcher and Emma

On a Saturday of perfect weather, we sadly had to spend much of the day cleaning up to leave. My parents came to help and to take our kids home with them to mow. But towards mid-afternoon, Paul and I were done. We had a little time to sit and enjoy the view and contemplate how far we had come. Since January, we have been in a constant state of transition and upheaval, without steady family routine, and with a lot of anticipated change. We were really looking forward to this time in the US as a time to reset and regather strength so that we could fully enter into our new life in Ethiopia. 


Final fishing trip up the creek

When we first arrived in Addis in July, it was just too quick of a transition and too close to the grief of parting with friends in Tanzania. We really needed the quiet, green space by the Bay, especially now that it is infused with so many homely memories for us as a family. It’s a spot I’ve been coming to since I was 8 years old, and Paul has been joining me for the past 20 years. And layered on top of that were the fascinating months of lockdown last spring in this same location. It was good to remember what that time of stillness felt like (though this home leave was much busier) and to remember what nurtured us as a family through those four months last year. We also had to turn and face the next two weeks—packed with all the doctors visits and many more gatherings with friends. It’s not easy to be back in the US for this relatively short time. There’s just too much to savor, too many good friends to try to catch up with, too many things to remember to bring back with us. The pressure to make it a good visit is high…


Paul, Jean and Henry

We especially wanted to return Saturday evening so that we could be part of a church picnic on Sunday after a Zoom worship service. Sadly, the weather turned from bad to worse. A few people made it to the church picnic, but it was already drizzling when we arrived. Our kids stayed in the car and we just stood around in our raincoats, just enough time to greet a few people before the heavens opened and we all scattered. Then we spend a lot of the afternoon waiting around in the urgent care facility to get David’s infected wound tended to. Finally, we made it to Paul’s parents’ apartment where we spent some time and dropped off David for a sleepover. Oren had his sleepover later in the week. I’m so glad that each of our kids had intentional and individual time with their paternal grandparents.

Oren

On Monday, my mom took us to the Aquarium – one of our favorite places to visit in Baltimore. I think Oren enjoyed it even more this year and was very observant about what we were seeing. David has less stamina for spending a long time in front of any one tank, but it was still great to be there. In the middle of the day, Jean took us to the Hard Rock café, truly a blast from the past (1980’s) kind of cool. It was really interesting and funny to realize how little my kids know about rock n’ roll.


Lincoln Memorial

Tuesday was our Washington Day. Cousin Gabriel joined us for the outing, and we were so glad he did. Because of the rising risks of Covid, we elected to do a self-guided walking tour of several national monuments around the Mall to keep ourselves outdoors. So, we drove all the way downtown and then started with viewing the White House from a distance. It’s amazing how much more security there is surrounding the place these days. We walked past and through the WWII monument – very grand and nationalistic – and then noted the stark contrasts with the Vietnam Veterans memorial. The cost of war is so much more personal and reflective in the second monument. 

We moved on to the Lincoln memorial, and I was most impressed with the engraving of Lincoln’s second inaugural address, given in the midst of the deadly Civil War. He was essentially asking: who are we to complain if our just God judges our nation for the sin of slavery, and if he, for every drop of blood spilled by the whip, demands payment by blood spilled at the point of the sword. He was praying for mercy, but clearly placed himself humbly under God’s justice. I didn’t know he was such a theological thinker and I was truly moved. 

MLK,Jr monument

Next, we arrived at the Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial, which was again very moving and inspiring. King was a national treasure, taken from us far too soon, a fact expressed artistically by the unfinished parts of the statue honoring him. We continued walking around the tidal basin to the Jefferson Memorial and noted how MLK’s monument lies across a straight line between Lincoln and Jefferson – a very interesting bit of monument planning with interesting interpretations. Finally, we walked back to the National Mall and the American history museum to get some late lunch and eat outside. We were pretty tired by that point, having walked 8 km, but it was good to see some interesting history exhibits after all the monuments. We drove back home in the evening, tired but glad we had gone together.

We needed a quiet day Wednesday after all that activity, with time to catch up on our work. I also had doctor’s appointments Weds and Thursday. I got one long walk in the woods by myself after a trip to the doctor in town. Paul and I made a special anniversary supper for my parents one evening. 

Anniversary dinner

Towards the end of the week we were due for our second Covid vaccine, and also needed to do a bit of shopping. Most of us had some flu like symptoms after the second shot, perhaps because the kids and I almost certainly had Covid last December (only Paul felt totally fine), so we also needed some down time at the end of the week.

Friday was a big day. Our friends the Ballards came over to spend time with us in the early part of the day. It was great to catch up with them and also fit in a game of croquet. 


Anniversary flowers
And then Paul and I got dressed up to go to a home church wedding, between two young adults at North Baltimore Mennonite Church. The groom was the son of our good friends and renters of our Baltimore house, who happen to be from Ethiopia. We carpooled with my brother’s family and met lots of church friends at this wedding. The service was in both English and Amharic, and involved a real blending of cultures. It was a wonderful opportunity to catch up with a few old friends we hadn’t seen yet, while we also got to meet a woman who will be our neighbor in Addis. It truly felt like a small world. We had left the kids with my parents, but later realized that they would have enjoyed the dinner and dancing aspect of the evening a lot with their cousins and other kids from the church.

Hannah and Israel

Over the weekend,  we took the chance to take a walk at Loch Raven reservoir to a peaceful corner in the woods. And Paul, David and I were really wanting to enjoy some good sushi, so we fit that into our day.  We got to attend church in-person on the lawn outside the sanctuary and really enjoyed that. We met our parents for a traditional Indian lunch – something we used to do often when we lived in Maryland. And then we joined up with my brother and his kids for some time at their pool – which was very refreshing and relaxing.

Log walking at Loch Raven


Our last week of home leave took us in a few different directions. Paul and his dad left for a quick trip to North Carolina to see his middle brother and wife. It was just one overnight, but it really felt important to see them and spend some time and visit them in their new home down there. I think Paul also was glad for the time in the car with his dad and the time to talk with nephew Charlie on the phone while they drove.

Paul and Henry with Mark

Meanwhile, I woke up early with the kids on Monday and we went to support the VBS program of our church, Peace Camp. Oren and David volunteered as junior youth leaders for three days that week, helping to animate and focus the younger campers (grades 3 – 6). I caught my boys actually having fun themselves playing the big group games outdoors and working on skits with their small groups. I really wanted them to find a way to keep that personal connection with our home church somehow. It’s harder this summer with only one possible in-person service, and no youth group meetings. But I think serving was a good way for them to stay connected and challenged. I also helped by leading music for the group on those days. Then I went off to do my office work in some corner of the public park where the kids were meeting.
Peace camp banner

 

Peace Camp met at the same park where the zoo is located and so on Monday our friend Ashley agreed to take us into the Zoo, along with her son and another church friend David’s age. The three of them were quite a trio and I think they really enjoyed themselves seeing the animals and even going through all the slides several times. 


zoo friends

They are pushing the upper end of the age limit, but it’s great to see 12 year olds still willing to enjoy their childhood, not growing up too fast. When we left the Zoo, we went to spend a little time with my Aunt Jo. I was so glad to see her and talk with her a little bit one-on-one. Oren was fascinated by her description of the disputes with her Trumpist neighbor, who has literally built a wall of Trump signs to divide their properties. She has decided to do nothing – nothing including not cutting the grass next to those signs, in hopes that the weeds will grow up and obscure the barrier with green! This is how personal the political is getting in our country right now.
Cousins gathering

Our final activity of the day took us to my cousin Colette’s house, where we met Gretchen, my cousin visiting from Texas. It has been incredibly long since we’ve seen each other, and I was so glad to be in town finally on one of her visits. Gretchen is a marvelous facilitator of conversation, and she got us all talking about what we did for our first jobs, as well as what we might dream of doing in our lives if we had the skill and opportunity. We were hosted by my cousins Colette and George, and joined by another cousin, Dan, so it was truly a great family get-together.

David, Oren, Gabe, Miriam

 We were back at Peace Camp Tuesday morning, but then came home to spend a quieter afternoon recovering. Late in the day, I decided to take David to this great fishing hole I’d seen on one of my jogs through the forest. I thought it wasn’t far, but it turned out that we had to walk 25 minutes to get there. By the time I had found some worms as bait, the sky was starting rumble. We saw a hole bunch of big fish, including a long American eel, but these fish were clever and weren’t biting. The sky kept rumbling more seriously and I urged David that it was time to go to avoid flash floods. 

At the fishing hole

But he still hadn’t caught anything and really wanted to persist. Finally a few raindrops started to fall and, and he also became alarmed and ready to go. As we turned to leave, the wind picked up and I remembered the other hazards of being in a forest in a storm: lightning and falling limbs. The danger was suddenly pretty clear to him too and we literally ran back to the car as fast as we could make our legs carry us (return trip in 15 minutes), with small leaves and twigs falling around us and lightning getting close. The rain started the second we reached the car, and by the time I had backed out and started driving away, the heavens opened and it was bucketing rain. As David said, as far as a fishing trip it ranked 0 out of 10; as far as an adrenaline rush adventure, it ranked about 100! Oren had been left at home alone and he was really worried for us, so he was glad to see us back. We topped off that day with dessert with our family friends Louise and Jack Ballard.

Dinner with Henry and Bunny

Other highlights of our last few days included a nice dinner with Bunny and Henry. We enjoy going to one of their dining rooms with them, and then going out in the cool of the evening to play bocce ball on the great course they have in their senior living center. On Saturday, We had a little time to visit with Genet, our friend and renter. And we were able to stop by and wish Miriam a happy birthday, as well as seeing my brother a few more times. We needed time for packing, of course, but also fit in some yard work with my parents and a few more trips to the Gunpowder, much more peaceful, with excellent fishing on our final Sunday in Fallston.

Final Gunpowder outing


And now we will be back in Addis in about six hours and finally I think we are ready to be back. We are looking forward to establishing a home there, making friends, and really digging into the work. We got good news in the midst of our home leave that David finally got a place in 7th grade, so he will be going to school in the typical fashion, making it much easier for us to learn about our new context and do our job together as a couple, rather than needing to learn how to facilitate home school on top of everything. And there will be much to do when we return to Ethiopia, particularly a new and concerning need for emergency relief work. Violence in the north is spilling southward, and out into other regions. There are hundreds of thousands of people displaced who need food aid and other support. We will need to work hard with our team to figure out the appropriate responses. And so that will be our focus in the coming days. Thanks for praying for us as we work to transition into a new normal life, and for the nation of Ethiopia, especially for a peaceful resolution of these conflicts which are making life so difficult for so many ordinary people who just want to make a living.

 

Many bonus photos:

Cousins playing horseshoes

Rainbow at my parents' house

David, Oren and Miriam

Oren at Peace Camp

Picking blackberries with Jean

Butterfly in the berries

and another

Pie almost finished

Our view of the Bay

Fishing

Dave and Bunny

Cornhole again

Full moon on the water

Gorgeous moth

More corn hole

Swinging at the Fair

David and Liam fishing

A good throw at Bocce ball

Paul and Bunny

Measuring a close call in bocce

Gabe in DC

Jefferson monument, our guys in the background

Sushi feast!

morning Spiderweb in the forest 

Peace camp games

Zoo lion

and more zoo lion!

Oren as all the animals (panorama shot)

Gunpowder Falls beauty

Final morning of great fishing

Henry and Oren

David and Dave

David, otters at the zoo


 

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